Stuck in 2011!

Because I don't think I'll be able to nail a post at the right moment for New Years, here it is in advance.

HAPPY NEW YEARS!

The Help, snow angels and worry.

I saw "The Help" yesterday and enjoyed it immensely.  It nailed setting, pacing (for a 146 minute film this is critical), believability and emotional impact.  If you haven't seen it, see it.

So besides that I was out with friends.  We had a blast, going to a Wendy's and beating me at cards, talking, shopping, talking, talking, talking, etc.  I had a real blast and I made snow angels.  I'd post pictures but it wasn't my camera.  So you'll have to wait.

My grandmother has been moved to Saskatoon's hospital.  I have no idea what is going on with her.  I know that she couldn't be helped in the best way due to her heart condition and that she is still alive but that's it.  I'm worried because, when I was really young, my grandfather on my mother's side had a stroke and was never the same.  He lost all control of his right side of his body, no longer can speak and finds it hard to remember his family.

Not knowing = anxiety for me.  So I'm worried.  Yesterday really cheered me up but was exhausting in the end as driving back from Saskatoon was foggy, snowy and bad conditions in general.

Well, I fell asleep writing this last night so there you go.

-Red

Stroke

My Grandmother on my father's side may have just had one.  More at 11...

-Red

Oh and this

MERRY CHRISTMAS YOU GUYS!

The shoulder

I've frequently been the shoulder friends lean on in times of trouble.  Dunno why but helping someone, even if the situation is horrible, makes me feel better if I can.  For me talking about my problems makes it easier to face them so if I can be the vessel for others to think about it...  All the better.

So far I've talked two people down from contemplating suicide, talked to one person who had sliced his wrists while desperately contacting his family to take him to the hospital, talked to numerous friends about depression, a couple about relationships and a few about knowing when to admit you have a problem.  Other times, I've just been there to hug and comfort. 

I've cried on the shoulder of my sister and she has on mine.  We've had a very healthy relationship that way.  It was her who really got me to deal with my emotions instead of burying them.  I deal with my problems as directly as I can.  I'm not without my faults.  I'm procrastinating on facing a ticket I need to pay off, something I just know will bite me in the ass.  The point I'm trying to make is...

Actually I'm not sure anymore.  I like helping others and I tend to try and stick it alone.  When I do need a shoulder to lean on, they are always there.  That's why if I've been a shoulder for a friend once, I'm always willing to do it again.

This post was inspired by a conversation with a friend.

-Red

Remember when I said I was going to not be posting on the Escapist?

The Hotel has internet.  BAH I'M SO PREDICTABLE!

I know I have a problem.

-Red

Thread made

Here it is!

And I neeeeeed to go now.  I'll post later, Merry Christmas!!

-Red

Christmas thread, Santa Video and Edmonton

Well, I was in that suit for 8 hours of sweltering heat.  The money made it worth it.  The video I will edit and put on the internet tomorrow?  Doubly worth it.

Yes, tomorrow is the start of my little Christmas celebration.  Last day of work until next Sunday so I can join my family in our trip to Edmonton.  It's going to be the first time my nephew and niece have been to West Edmonton Mall.  I have a feeling they'll love it.

So, before I leave tomorrow I intend to post a Christmas thread with the video and a few pictures.  It'll likely be the last thing I do before December 24th (getting the gift badge).  Speaking of that gift badge, I totally missed out on the 2009 one. 

Well, I'm needing sleep.  Bad.

Take care folks.

-Red

Four hours of Santa

Well, I was Santa Claus from 4-8 today.  Here's how it went:

- Got dressed in the outfit, found the proper ratio of blankets to make the belly fat.

- Sat in chair, fell asleep due to warmth and the comfortable chair for small periods.

- Encountered 12 children throughout the short shift.  5 sat on my lap and got pictures.  3 saw me at a distance and were reduced to tears by my jolly appearance.  4 more saw me but didn't approach or cry.

- Was given a glass of Coke-Cola, giving me the energy to last the latter half of the shift without falling asleep.

- Began to get very hot.

- Was bored.

- Was really, really, really bored.

-Left the restaurant we were shooting at and went to a friends house.

It was, all in all, a really easy job.  Despite the discomfort and the boredom I was paid $48 dollars for my time.  So gas money, yay!

I still have the suit in my possession.  Tomorrow, the last day of this restaurant sit in with Santa thing, is the same shift.  So after I work in the morning at my bakery job I'm going to a party as Santa.  A video of me ordering at Tim Hortons in order to get milk and cookies as Santa with Guile's theme is a possibility.

Tis the season to be eccentric! XD

-Red

Family Matters

I try to be a good Uncle.  I have a nephew named Jaspar and a niece named Ivy.  Both are beautiful children but are very hard to control.  Jaspar is 5, Ivy is 4.  They bounce off each other like oil and water and its hard to control them when they're together.  Alone is a different story.

Jaspar loves building with Lego, something I can join in with him very easily seeing as I still build!  He also loves superheros and making up games to play.  Whenever we have the chance, we use our imaginations to make the best adventures possible inside my Sister's little house.  He draws a lot, is obsessed with cars and can't wait until Christmas.  I want to be a fun Uncle for him, someone who will take him out bike riding when he's old enough as well as other boyish adventures.

Ivy is a very different story.  She's the most princess-like little girl I've ever met.  Princesses, bears, kitties, tea sets...  It's a lot harder to play games she likes when Jaspar is around as he likes to explode around and play rough while Ivy is having a conversation between Smurf stuffies and a dog stuffy.  When I'm alone with her I pick her up and whirl her around.  I tickle her more than Jaspar (who gets "mad" when tickled too much) and we have our little adventures.  I just usually chase her around as playing with her stuffies with her is hard.  She has all these little rules about how we're supposed to talk to each other and its hard to keep track with her.

My sister is a busy person with a lot of things happening.  Primarily she takes care of the kids, often at the usually at the expense of things she would like to do.  She's very reluctant to call in a babysitter when our mom isn't around.  She lives in a house literally right across from my home with my parents so visiting is very easy.

My sister is 12 years older than me so she's 32 and I'm 20.  It was always a harmonious relationship between siblings and I've always considered her my second mom, the younger and funner mom!  She was the one who introduced me to video games, starting with the SNES of our household.  She was the one who got me started into RPG's after I had been gaming for a few years.  She sparked my interest in Manga and Anime (inadvertently) by letting me play a fighter called Ranma 1/2 and explaining where the characters came from.  Seeing her in pain is something I cannot take lying down but this is a line of thought for another post...

My relationship with my dad has always been a difficult one.  He is incredibly busy as he juggles a career as a professional Jazz musician, music teacher, community band leader and parent daily.  From him I inherited my love of reading and music but it came at a cost.  He expected a lot from me as a kid and now as an adult (although he is less vocal about it now as I'm old enough to not need his expectations as my motivation).  He pushed me into 5 unhappy years of Piano, something I hated from day one.  That led to the most violent teenage outbursts of my short life thus far...  As a trumpet player learning from your professional trumpet player father...  You feel inadequate.  I can elaborate more on this later.  We love each other to be sure but dad is always, and I suspect always will be, hard to impress.

My mom calls me her baby boy, much to my chagrin.  She's not an overbearing mother but she always makes sure to know what I'm up to.  She is a great cook, makes amazing jams and salsa and is probably the moral center of my life.  She's far more religious than I am but she isn't pushy about it.  She disapproves of me being on computers or gaming and thinks I'm too lazy for my own good.  This may be true but I'm not going to change my views on video gaming just because she thinks they're a waste of time.  Still, we love each other a great deal.

These have been thoughts about my immediate family.  I could tell you stories about my Uncles and Aunts but I think I'll conclude here for now.  Just felt a need to ramble a bit and hey, that's the title of the blog isn't it?

-Red

Site redesign

Well, saw it coming because of Pubclub.

Feelings: AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH MY EYES

I actually don't care too much about the home page, its just the loss of the community tab that hurts me the most.  That was my preferred method of selecting user groups plus I was hoping for a return of featured user/user group. 

Also the brightness, it still burns.

Cryptic question hint

HAHAHAHA

No.  You're on your own for it.  But thanks for stopping and reading my blog anyways.  Have a pie, on the house.

-Red

On being lazy

I'll write this post later.

Redlin reviews

Uggggggggggggggh...

Procrastination kicking in yet again.  However, there are a number of user reviews on the Escapist I want to push out.  Two of them I know I'm going to do movie reviews on and two new series of reviews I want to get going.  We'll start with those:

Redlin's introspective write ups (WORKING TITLE)

I thought I'd do a semi-serious series of reviews about my habits as a person.  Things I would touch on would be my typical meals, my "splurging" habits and other easy to write about habits in my life.  I plan on being a very stern critic with myself and I will write from the perspective of someone who isn't me.

Redlin's Game Jukebox

Primarily going to start with Pokemon music and a count down of the generations best songs in my opinion.  After that?  Well, I guess I could cover other games I know well.  We'll see how those go.

Movie reviews take a lot more motivation and planning as I really want to convey my thoughts concisely while retaining the emotions I felt while watching it.  I certainly learned a number of things when my first review hit the Escapist and I hope that my next one will work better or not just be a plot review.  I dunno, here are the movies I know I'm capable of writing about sometime.

A Bridge Too Far

I love war history.  It fascinates me and to date this is my favorite war movie.  However, to someone without a real serious world war fetish interest it could be described as long.  I dunno, I really need to watch it again with the review mindset in mind.

The Flight Of The Phoenix

The 1965 or original film about a plane crashing in the desert.  I've always liked survival stories, real or not (watch "Stranded: I've come from a plane that crashed on the mountains" for a real life horror survival story!) and this one just strikes me as one of those classic films.  Will it hold up to the modern audience's standards?  We'll see.  (Hint: I like it)

Reviews for me take work.  Mostly because I want to do a good job and I don't want my forum habits from FG infecting my writing at all.  So when I have the time/motivation the film reviews will probably go up.  The others?  Likely sooner.

Plus there is a certain video I need to make.

NO THIS WASN'T A POST FOR YOU MARTER SHUDDUP! XD

Driving conditions

Just a short post although I do want to do a full post about my love affair with the act of driving.

It rained last night and has frozen over.  The roads are as icy as Sevre's heart I've ever seen them and I haven't even driven into the city today.  If you see a thread about a first accident, it could very well be me.

Thank you Saskatchewan.  I wanted my new car to possibly get damaged today >.<

-Red

Unplugging

 NO NOT LIKE THAT

Due to someone else (who will remain nameless >.>) considering taking time away from the net, I thought I'd post my feelings on me leaving. 


Feelings: Mixed

I get this thought into my head every so often that if I wasn't so active online, I'd have more time to progress my career, get a second job, spend time with my nephew and niece... etc.  I kind of half feel that I'm too plugged into the net and that it isn't healthy.

However...

I love the communities I'm involved with, I have a ton of fun, I managed to get through University without any issues and I would hate to lose friends.  The last part is my biggest sticking point.  If I'm not around to talk to or I'm not goofing around on the forums; there isn't much incentive to talk to me really <.<

Unplugging permanently?  Unlikely.  However, at some point I may have to get myself banned for a year or something.  I'd never leave the Escapist or the internet completely unless for some reason I was incapable of it (or dead o.o).

So the blogs will continue to roll out.

[This hasn't been an attempt to make anyone stay on the net, I was just posting my thoughts >.>]

-Red

Lobster

I succumbed to temptation today.  The lobster tasted great though it hit my wallet where it hurts.  I'd post the link to the thread I made about it but the Escapist isn't loading.

The Escapist isn't loading...

I guess I'll go to sleep then :/

-Red

Bioshocked

Well, I picked up Bioshock from a Giant Tiger for 10 bucks the other week and I've been playing it off and on.  I'm enjoying the atmosphere, the combat, most everything.  The only thing that is really bothering me is that the game has hit up one of my most irrational phobias.

I am irrationally afraid of conversations/dialogue about genetics, DNA altering and viruses.  Messing with the building blocks of who a person is just gets me all shivery and shaky.  When I was in Highschool and in Biology (or earlier science classes that touched on it) I would have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom.  I would huddle to the cold floor of the bathroom, shaking and sweating thinking about it until I forced myself to snap myself out of it.

I'm older now and able to deal with it better but I still need to excuse myself from time to time to distract myself from my fears.  I have no idea why it bothers me so much, it just hits a trigger in my brain and I know my body is reacting to a percieved threat.  So when you first inject a plasmid into your arm in the game and it goes all weird with Atlas talking about your genes changing; I had to physically leave the room.  I'm not very far in the game but I know this will likely come up again.

Man, I feel like such a wimp >.<

-Red

Religion

I am a member of the Salvation Army.  Well, not a particularly active or necessarily motivated member but I share a great number of its beliefs.  I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins, that you should not waste the life given to you and that faith without action is worthless.  I disagree with a number of its beliefs too.  While my thoughts on creationism as a whole are undecided, I do think the dates are impossible.  I believe that gay and lesbian couples should have the ability to marry each other outside of our church.  I haven't the slightest inclination to go around converting others.

Religion was on my mind today anyway as today is the start of Advent and I happened to not be working (or being otherwise occupied) Sunday morning for the first time in a few months.  I was thinking about how working has really changed my priorities, how I was so worried about my materialistic goals lately and how without the SA's brass band I haven't really been motivated to play my cornet at all.  I was probably not even going to make this blog post about my thoughts on my religious beliefs because I generally don't go around trumpeting them.

Then, well this happened in the forums.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.327281-LGBT-Community-calls-the-Salvation-Army-Bigots?page=1

So, the site finally provoked a series of emotional posts from me.  Far more emotional than I generally get on the internet.  In fact, I think this is the most I've ever put out about my religious affiliations ever.  The fact of the matter is that while I can fall back on what I was raised to believe easily, I just don't have that dedication to the whole thing that others in my congregation do.  Still, I believe in the missions of the Salvation Army.  So when I see the Salvation Army being described as a bunch of bigots, idiots and right wing oppressors it genuinely gets me upset.  The people I've grown up around in the temple are among the kindest I've ever known and they put out so much to help the community.

I've decided not to post in that thread again.  I'm too emotionally tied to the discussion and I've already said the bulk of what I feel I need to say.  I dunno, I kind of don't like the idea of being lumped in with the Fundamentalist movements in the South like WBC just because of the position on the homosexual front.  I couldn't care less if two people of the same sex decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

I dunno, I'm just to tired to talk more about it now.  I hope my thoughts came across in this post.

The lines I won't cross

Back in University I had my first drink.  I had a lot of drinks.  I got drunk probably twice a week at one point as I experimented with alcohol for the first time in my life.  Not too surprisingly I was offered more than just alcohol.  A number of my friends smoked marijuana and constantly offered it to me, especially when I was reaching my limits drinking at their apartment.  Even in my drunkest moments I always refused point blank.

Drinking for the sake of drinking has long since lost its appeal.  I treat it more like a social activity now and I haven't had much to drink since October.  Thing is, unlike Vancouver, small town Saskatchewan requires you to be sober because you can't just hitch a ride on the Skytrain home.  No, you need to drive everywhere and one thing that I will never do is drive while under the influence.  Besides, my friends here aren't much for drinking anyway and I'm needing to save money.

So drugs and alcohol have both touched my life, the latter more than the former.  I'm proud to say that I've successfully controlled all my interactions with the both of them.  For drugs, I just don't want to go there.  Not just because of the health concerns but also staying true to something I promised myself as a kid in school.  I would never smoke.  I lost one Uncle to lung cancer and I wasn't going to do that to myself.  Then there comes the needles.  I hate needles.  Snorting?  Gross.  One friend almost tricked me with a pot-cookie but I declined to eat it when he kept pushing me to eat it.  I just don't like the idea of taking something more mind altering than alcohol.  I know I can handle alcohol now; I'm not willing to take a leap in the dark again with weed.

Some would say I've handled drinking too carefully, that planning a way home or a place to sleep before I get smashed ruins the spontaneous nature of it all.  To that I say bullshit.  I can have fun, I just keep a lifeline to get me somewhere safe to sleep it off.  When I'm drinking I'll always drink more water than alcohol to help with the hangover the next morning.  It's ridiculous how much it helps me.  I can hold a fair bit of poison in me but I really haven't been inclined to lately.  Nobody to drink with (drinking with online friends isn't the same) and not living in a city have sobered me up for much longer than my own willpower did.  I was never addicted to drinking, I was more addicted to messing around with my friends in Vancouver.  I went full sober in March this year to prove that I could stop drinking and I did it no sweat.  I'm not concerned about me developing a drinking problem.

Nope, I have other addictions.  Addictions I will cover in another post (Note to me: make this post).

Now if you'll excuse me, I have something to drink now.  Milk.

-Red

Helping my father

Today I went into the city to handle some sound recording with my dad as he and a piano player selected songs they wanted for their Christmas concert and CD.  It was a new system, to both of us so there was (and still are) a few glitches in the setup but we were both pleased with the signal (the primary sound you want) recording.  We set up two mics in the aisles of the chapel, one on my dad to get a direct line on his trumpet, two on the piano (one getting the high register and one getting the bass) and one backup mic for the mix.  Despite the glitches the sound turned out alright and I tried to learn from the experience as much as I could.

Helping my dad with his music has been something I've done all throughout my life.  The equipment, from the 90's to now, has been getting progressively lighter but I learned from a young age how to carry seven things at once as to save time.  Cords were never my forte and only University professors have really pointed me in the right direction for proper cord wrapping.  In anycase I think that spending years with my Dad behind stage, working with sound, speaker equipment and setting up a stage for his dixieland bands or his Jazz quartets was the start of what geared me for a career in production.  I've always been comfortable around big equipment (and expensive equipment too!) because of my father using me as his 'gopher'.  Many a late night in my memory has been spent with him tearing down sound stages, moving giant speakers, lights, talking with his Jazz musician friends, waiting to go home at 3 AM after a long 5 hour show.  Good times...

Sorry, I don't know if there was any point to all of this, I just wanted to talk about it seeing as it was on my mind when I got home.  I'll be housesitting (just being in the house while my nephew and niece are asleep) for my sister as she is going to get her car all clean and in selling condition tonight.

Life goes on in Saskatchewan.

-Red

Drugs, health and bad food. A typical work morning.

So today at work my mind wandered, as it always does.  Today was notable for the beginning of the Christmas music marathon that will last until Christmas.  So my cheery acceptance of Christmas music will likely take a hit as these songs repeat and repeat....

What, oh right the title.  So there was an 'unexpected' health and safety inspection today.  Not really unexpected when I hear from guys working in produce (I work in a grocery supermarket by the way) that the manager got a call from the regional manager or something two hours before the inspection that it was coming.  So in my head I suddenly created a vast corporate conspiracy with company spies in all the government regulatory offices working jobs in the offices and making secret communiques when an inspection hits.  I would totally be a company spy, seems like an excuse to brag about being a spy without actually dealing with people trying to kill you.

Drugs?  Heh, well it seems less funny now but I could have sworn I heard "Manager to till 7 for a cocaine exchange" while working with frozen bread.  So naturally I start daydreaming about the place being a gigantic drug factory and that the buns I was automatically bagging actually had pills baked in.  It might surprise you but I can daydream without impeding my ability to pick something up and set it down XD

Bad food.  This is a bit of a stupid thing on me.  See I woke up late so I opted not to be late for work and skipped breakfast.  Normally it isn't a big deal but ended up having to do some extra lifting due to someone not doing frozen product last night.  Anyway, I got very very hungry while working.  So, on my break I went to the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart.  I picked up a one litre carton of milk to drink and was going to get a cinnamon bun.  They were out so I looked for a substitute.  Hello two things of potato chips on special.  Not a good thing to eat in the morning :/

So, another exciting day in Saskatchewan...

-Red

Staying up late

I've always been really into staying up late ever since I was a little kid.  This was how I beat the Pokemon games, all the way up until Diamond (when I started needing to sleep to do well in school the next morning). 

I dunno why it is so attractive to me.  Maybe it is looking out the window at the stars, the feeling of going against the grain, a triumph of mind over an exhausted body.  This has backfired on me many times.  I've failed quizzes and had to work hard to make up for it after sleeping in.  I've missed dates because I slept in.  I've even, in an act of sheer stupidity, missed a job interview because I was too damn busy posting on the Escapist the night before.

I dunno.  I like pretending I can stay up indefinitely and I always pay for it...  And yet I come back for more a few nights later.  It is odd, well at least to me, that I would fight the urge to sleep when dreaming is one of my favorite things about my life.  I've certainly noticed that my sleeping pattern is one of easy to sleep, hard to wake.

So here I sit, on my bed at 2:00 AM posting on my new blog for the internet.  My priorities are askew.  Sometimes I feel bad about my daily rituals and how I should be "at my prime" but that is a ramble for another time.

Now if you excuse me, I have to avoid sleeping for a bit more on the Escapist.

-Red

It lives!

Well, t'would appear I have a blog now.  So hi Internet!  Expect me to update this once in a while and don't be afraid to PM me on the Escapist if I leave it unattended for a period of a year or so!