Tuesday, 29 November 2011


I succumbed to temptation today.  The lobster tasted great though it hit my wallet where it hurts.  I'd post the link to the thread I made about it but the Escapist isn't loading.

The Escapist isn't loading...

I guess I'll go to sleep then :/



Well, I picked up Bioshock from a Giant Tiger for 10 bucks the other week and I've been playing it off and on.  I'm enjoying the atmosphere, the combat, most everything.  The only thing that is really bothering me is that the game has hit up one of my most irrational phobias.

I am irrationally afraid of conversations/dialogue about genetics, DNA altering and viruses.  Messing with the building blocks of who a person is just gets me all shivery and shaky.  When I was in Highschool and in Biology (or earlier science classes that touched on it) I would have to excuse myself to go to the bathroom.  I would huddle to the cold floor of the bathroom, shaking and sweating thinking about it until I forced myself to snap myself out of it.

I'm older now and able to deal with it better but I still need to excuse myself from time to time to distract myself from my fears.  I have no idea why it bothers me so much, it just hits a trigger in my brain and I know my body is reacting to a percieved threat.  So when you first inject a plasmid into your arm in the game and it goes all weird with Atlas talking about your genes changing; I had to physically leave the room.  I'm not very far in the game but I know this will likely come up again.

Man, I feel like such a wimp >.<


Sunday, 27 November 2011


I am a member of the Salvation Army.  Well, not a particularly active or necessarily motivated member but I share a great number of its beliefs.  I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sins, that you should not waste the life given to you and that faith without action is worthless.  I disagree with a number of its beliefs too.  While my thoughts on creationism as a whole are undecided, I do think the dates are impossible.  I believe that gay and lesbian couples should have the ability to marry each other outside of our church.  I haven't the slightest inclination to go around converting others.

Religion was on my mind today anyway as today is the start of Advent and I happened to not be working (or being otherwise occupied) Sunday morning for the first time in a few months.  I was thinking about how working has really changed my priorities, how I was so worried about my materialistic goals lately and how without the SA's brass band I haven't really been motivated to play my cornet at all.  I was probably not even going to make this blog post about my thoughts on my religious beliefs because I generally don't go around trumpeting them.

Then, well this happened in the forums.

So, the site finally provoked a series of emotional posts from me.  Far more emotional than I generally get on the internet.  In fact, I think this is the most I've ever put out about my religious affiliations ever.  The fact of the matter is that while I can fall back on what I was raised to believe easily, I just don't have that dedication to the whole thing that others in my congregation do.  Still, I believe in the missions of the Salvation Army.  So when I see the Salvation Army being described as a bunch of bigots, idiots and right wing oppressors it genuinely gets me upset.  The people I've grown up around in the temple are among the kindest I've ever known and they put out so much to help the community.

I've decided not to post in that thread again.  I'm too emotionally tied to the discussion and I've already said the bulk of what I feel I need to say.  I dunno, I kind of don't like the idea of being lumped in with the Fundamentalist movements in the South like WBC just because of the position on the homosexual front.  I couldn't care less if two people of the same sex decide they want to spend the rest of their lives together.

I dunno, I'm just to tired to talk more about it now.  I hope my thoughts came across in this post.

Friday, 25 November 2011

The lines I won't cross

Back in University I had my first drink.  I had a lot of drinks.  I got drunk probably twice a week at one point as I experimented with alcohol for the first time in my life.  Not too surprisingly I was offered more than just alcohol.  A number of my friends smoked marijuana and constantly offered it to me, especially when I was reaching my limits drinking at their apartment.  Even in my drunkest moments I always refused point blank.

Drinking for the sake of drinking has long since lost its appeal.  I treat it more like a social activity now and I haven't had much to drink since October.  Thing is, unlike Vancouver, small town Saskatchewan requires you to be sober because you can't just hitch a ride on the Skytrain home.  No, you need to drive everywhere and one thing that I will never do is drive while under the influence.  Besides, my friends here aren't much for drinking anyway and I'm needing to save money.

So drugs and alcohol have both touched my life, the latter more than the former.  I'm proud to say that I've successfully controlled all my interactions with the both of them.  For drugs, I just don't want to go there.  Not just because of the health concerns but also staying true to something I promised myself as a kid in school.  I would never smoke.  I lost one Uncle to lung cancer and I wasn't going to do that to myself.  Then there comes the needles.  I hate needles.  Snorting?  Gross.  One friend almost tricked me with a pot-cookie but I declined to eat it when he kept pushing me to eat it.  I just don't like the idea of taking something more mind altering than alcohol.  I know I can handle alcohol now; I'm not willing to take a leap in the dark again with weed.

Some would say I've handled drinking too carefully, that planning a way home or a place to sleep before I get smashed ruins the spontaneous nature of it all.  To that I say bullshit.  I can have fun, I just keep a lifeline to get me somewhere safe to sleep it off.  When I'm drinking I'll always drink more water than alcohol to help with the hangover the next morning.  It's ridiculous how much it helps me.  I can hold a fair bit of poison in me but I really haven't been inclined to lately.  Nobody to drink with (drinking with online friends isn't the same) and not living in a city have sobered me up for much longer than my own willpower did.  I was never addicted to drinking, I was more addicted to messing around with my friends in Vancouver.  I went full sober in March this year to prove that I could stop drinking and I did it no sweat.  I'm not concerned about me developing a drinking problem.

Nope, I have other addictions.  Addictions I will cover in another post (Note to me: make this post).

Now if you'll excuse me, I have something to drink now.  Milk.


Wednesday, 23 November 2011

Helping my father

Today I went into the city to handle some sound recording with my dad as he and a piano player selected songs they wanted for their Christmas concert and CD.  It was a new system, to both of us so there was (and still are) a few glitches in the setup but we were both pleased with the signal (the primary sound you want) recording.  We set up two mics in the aisles of the chapel, one on my dad to get a direct line on his trumpet, two on the piano (one getting the high register and one getting the bass) and one backup mic for the mix.  Despite the glitches the sound turned out alright and I tried to learn from the experience as much as I could.

Helping my dad with his music has been something I've done all throughout my life.  The equipment, from the 90's to now, has been getting progressively lighter but I learned from a young age how to carry seven things at once as to save time.  Cords were never my forte and only University professors have really pointed me in the right direction for proper cord wrapping.  In anycase I think that spending years with my Dad behind stage, working with sound, speaker equipment and setting up a stage for his dixieland bands or his Jazz quartets was the start of what geared me for a career in production.  I've always been comfortable around big equipment (and expensive equipment too!) because of my father using me as his 'gopher'.  Many a late night in my memory has been spent with him tearing down sound stages, moving giant speakers, lights, talking with his Jazz musician friends, waiting to go home at 3 AM after a long 5 hour show.  Good times...

Sorry, I don't know if there was any point to all of this, I just wanted to talk about it seeing as it was on my mind when I got home.  I'll be housesitting (just being in the house while my nephew and niece are asleep) for my sister as she is going to get her car all clean and in selling condition tonight.

Life goes on in Saskatchewan.


Drugs, health and bad food. A typical work morning.

So today at work my mind wandered, as it always does.  Today was notable for the beginning of the Christmas music marathon that will last until Christmas.  So my cheery acceptance of Christmas music will likely take a hit as these songs repeat and repeat....

What, oh right the title.  So there was an 'unexpected' health and safety inspection today.  Not really unexpected when I hear from guys working in produce (I work in a grocery supermarket by the way) that the manager got a call from the regional manager or something two hours before the inspection that it was coming.  So in my head I suddenly created a vast corporate conspiracy with company spies in all the government regulatory offices working jobs in the offices and making secret communiques when an inspection hits.  I would totally be a company spy, seems like an excuse to brag about being a spy without actually dealing with people trying to kill you.

Drugs?  Heh, well it seems less funny now but I could have sworn I heard "Manager to till 7 for a cocaine exchange" while working with frozen bread.  So naturally I start daydreaming about the place being a gigantic drug factory and that the buns I was automatically bagging actually had pills baked in.  It might surprise you but I can daydream without impeding my ability to pick something up and set it down XD

Bad food.  This is a bit of a stupid thing on me.  See I woke up late so I opted not to be late for work and skipped breakfast.  Normally it isn't a big deal but ended up having to do some extra lifting due to someone not doing frozen product last night.  Anyway, I got very very hungry while working.  So, on my break I went to the nearest Shoppers Drug Mart.  I picked up a one litre carton of milk to drink and was going to get a cinnamon bun.  They were out so I looked for a substitute.  Hello two things of potato chips on special.  Not a good thing to eat in the morning :/

So, another exciting day in Saskatchewan...


Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Staying up late

I've always been really into staying up late ever since I was a little kid.  This was how I beat the Pokemon games, all the way up until Diamond (when I started needing to sleep to do well in school the next morning). 

I dunno why it is so attractive to me.  Maybe it is looking out the window at the stars, the feeling of going against the grain, a triumph of mind over an exhausted body.  This has backfired on me many times.  I've failed quizzes and had to work hard to make up for it after sleeping in.  I've missed dates because I slept in.  I've even, in an act of sheer stupidity, missed a job interview because I was too damn busy posting on the Escapist the night before.

I dunno.  I like pretending I can stay up indefinitely and I always pay for it...  And yet I come back for more a few nights later.  It is odd, well at least to me, that I would fight the urge to sleep when dreaming is one of my favorite things about my life.  I've certainly noticed that my sleeping pattern is one of easy to sleep, hard to wake.

So here I sit, on my bed at 2:00 AM posting on my new blog for the internet.  My priorities are askew.  Sometimes I feel bad about my daily rituals and how I should be "at my prime" but that is a ramble for another time.

Now if you excuse me, I have to avoid sleeping for a bit more on the Escapist.


Monday, 21 November 2011

It lives!

Well, t'would appear I have a blog now.  So hi Internet!  Expect me to update this once in a while and don't be afraid to PM me on the Escapist if I leave it unattended for a period of a year or so!